We’ve all heard the expression, ‘dancing about architecture.’ Not that I’m going to mention the “J” word, let’s just stick to rock ‘n’ roll for now. I’m not here to talk about music anyway; this is an art page. So the question is . . . why write about art? What can you say about art that hasn’t been said, or that even needs to be said? Art is an expression of the soul, right? The subconscious?

To tell the truth, I had an entire theme mapped out on that basis, point by point;  then I went off and used the vacuum for a while and as I worked that theme got sucked right out of my brain. What to do now? Prattle aimlessly about nothing. Oh no, that’s right:  prattle aimlessly about art:-

Cordless vacuums made by well-known Korean manufacturers are really effective;  they clean up everything, even superfluous creativity. Oh yes, sorry – art. If you’re an artist and you’re lazy, use a stick-vac, and after that your creativity will be gone and you won’t have to do anything. There. I’m done.

What? You’re not lazy? Well I can’t help you because I can’t relate to that, I’m like most every other punter who is innately idle. You think I’m a creative person;  well I am, but being creative and actually creating are two different things. I currently have 437 unrealised concepts either jotted down or waiting to fall out of my head and be lost forever.

A humongous exaggeration actually;  the figure is closer to 435. I’m not a procrastinator though. Seriously, I’ll get to those concepts later. Mañana. I’ll sit here and shake my head until they do all fall out, and then my work will be done! Ahh . . .

All right, okay!  I am actually a lazy, hyperbolic procrastinator, and in my own self-critical mind not talented at all that’s why I have to write stu- er, yes, rubbish, instead of sketching and painting. I don’t understand what makes others like certain artworks and I don’t see what they see or feel what they feel when they see them. I am sure I’m alone in the world in this;  there is a great, even cosmic joke, and I’m the only one not in on it. Like a playful, skipping lamb at an altar.

No don’t try to explain it. It’s never funny if you have to do that. Just enjoy what you enjoy, see what you see and feel what you feel.

I’m annoyed now and I’m going off to look for pictures of my favourite buildings, and work on my dance moves.